A few years ago I read a piece by T.D. Jakes called “Let It Go.” This message has loudly resounded in my head for almost a decade now. Here recently, I’ve found myself having to live that same message.

There is so much power in letting go. Whether it’s a person, a bad habit, a relationship, a friendship, unforgiveness (towards others or yourself), heart breaks and aches, bitterness, resentment, or even your own will. Whatever it is that we are struggling to let go of, we have to understand that if God is requiring us to let it go, He has something so much better waiting for us. Holding on to things and people that we need to let go of keeps us in a prison that we have the keys to. As crazy as that may sound, we do it all the time!

Something that I’ve recently been struggling with is letting people go. I’ve always been the type of person who considered myself to have life long friends. This meant once we were friends, we would be friends until one of us stopped breathing. Over the past year, two people who’d been “doing life” with me for almost a decade and the other nearly two decades suddenly chose to walk away. Without reason and without notice, I looked up and they were gone.

Of course I’ve had a million and one “whys.” I’ve rattled my brain trying to figure out where I’ve offended them. I’ve offered unaccepted apologies. I’ve cried. I’ve prayed. I’ve done everything that I know to do to try to make things right, but nothing has changed the situations.

So I’ve had to come to some uncomfortable but necessary realizations. Some things (including people) are only assigned to our lives for a season. When we think of the word season, we usually think of a short period. However, that’s not always how God dictates it. A season can last a few months, a few years, or even a few decades. However, after you’ve poured into a person all that God has desired for you to pour in and you’ve received everything you were to receive and vice versa, your assignment to their life and their assignment to yours is up.

The issue is, we get so comfortable with their presence that we find it difficult to let them go. We plan out our lives and we put people in places far down the road that God never intended for them to be. So when the assignment is over and God uproots them out of our lives, we feel hurt, confused, angry, and all sort of other emotions. Like a child, we kick and scream and ask why when we can no longer have what we want.

Like I stated earlier, I’ve went through all of those emotions, but after I got over myself, I began to think clearly and get some great revelation. Just because the season is over, there doesn’t have to be beef between you and the other person. You don’t have to hold any malice or ill intent in your heart towards them. Their exit out of your life does not eradicate the good fruit that was produced from their presence. No, you may not understand it, but you can always trust God when He is supernaturally orchestrating your life. I love how in Isaiah 55:8 (NLT) God reminds us: “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” So earnestly pray for them and wish them God’s absolute best! Appreciate and cherish those that God has chosen to stay and keep it moving.

It takes guts to let go of something or someone that you hold near and dear to you, but it’s often times necessary. Use those keys and open that prison door. Free yourself! It may be uncomfortable right now, but I promise you, you will be ok and life will go on. You have too much life to live to get stuck here. Destiny’s child said it best “Ain’t no feeling like being free, when your mind is made up and your heart is in the right place!” So simply put, LET IT GO!

So here we are, 9 days into the New Year, and what exactly have you changed? This was the question that I asked myself as I stood in the mirror this morning. Unfortunately, my answer was not the one that I would have preferred it to be. I had all of these plans for this New Year, however nothing about my current actions have resembled a desire to change. I haven’t taken any steps to be different from what or who I was this time last year. A hard truth, yes I know.

In 2014 I kicked down the door of the big 3-0! To celebrate my birthday, I invited some of my family and closest friends to meet me downtown by the waterfalls (I love scenery) as I released 30 balloons. Each balloon had a different word written on it. Each word was something that I planned to release as I kissed my 20’s goodbye and that I refused to take into my 30’s. I gave a great speech, my friends and I shed a few tears, and I released balloons, but the question is did I really let anything go? Now I’m not naïve enough to think that these things would change overnight. These were habits and behaviors that I’d grown accustom to for the last 30 years. By releasing the balloons I was making a commitment to do better in these areas. So the question still remains, am I doing any better?

Now I would love to give you all this life changing testimony that I released those balloons and I haven’t looked back…ummmm….no! I will be 1000% honest, that’s not my story. Yes, I let some things go. Yes, I walked away from some people who I needed to, but those were merely the fruits of the issues. I still have yet to completely destroy the roots. There is a message in my book called, “Kill the Root, Kill the Fruit.” I’ve found myself continuously rereading this message. It is only when you pull up and destroy the root of a plant that it will stop growing back. As long as the root is still intact, even if it isn’t the season for the fruit to grow, in the right conditions, the fruit still has the potential to keep coming back.

Killing the roots of bad habits or unsavory behaviors require us to absolutely change our minds. When you change your mind, you will have no choice but to discipline your body and spirit. Staying in the vein of honesty, discipline is something that I have struggled with and I admit I am lacking. Because I’ve seen it work before, I know that DISCIPLINE leads to DILIGENCE. DILIGENCE leads to DEDICATION. DEDICATION leads to DYNAMIC RESULTS. In 2015 I’m looking for dynamic results!

So this year, will you join me? Will you commit with me to start today? Can you make a vow to yourself that you will begin to exercise the discipline that is necessary to live your very best life? Will you kill those roots that have kept you grounded in a place that you had no business in? Now this will not be easy friends and you won’t be able to do it on your own. If we are going to be successful in this, now more than ever, we are going to have to lean and depend on God for the help and the grace to do it. I can’t wait to have this conversation this time next year so we can discuss how far we’ve come. I know that just like me, you are T.O.U.G.H. enough to get it done!